You’d Think I’d Know Better…

This is really stupid, but I want to write something and, even more than that, I want to show you what’s been my favorite cartoon since November of 2003.  What follows really is stupid, so, if  you want,  you can skip down to the cartoon and the reminder at the end.  I won’t be offended.  Hell, I won’t even know unless you leave a comment in the Comments box at the very end exposing  your skipatude.  Either way, it helps me work on acceptance.

This morning it was waffles for the breakfast that morphed into brunch.  There was just no reason to get out of bed.  Since Bobbie is the Waffle Queen, I become the King of Table Setting, Beverage Making, Pill Pouring and Plate Garnishing.  It is this last responsibility that bears directly on what is to come.  Prominently displayed in our refrigerator this morning was three quarters of a delicious apple.  Having eaten the other quarter yesterday as part of my morning cereal, I could well testify that it was–you’re already ahead of me, aren’t you?–a delicious delicious apple.  I ventured it.  Bobbie accepted it.  I diced and placed the dicings equally on our two breakfast plates.

Clearly this would have been the appropriate time to direct my thoughts elsewhere, but no.  For reasons that might be revealed only in an autopsy, my brain continued stuck in the world of that three-quarter apple and a love of fifth grade math.

Just how much apple did each of us receive to accompany our  waffles?

I did the math.  Half of three quarters is three eights.  OK, again time to leave the whole thing alone and go on to worrying about terrorists and the people who chase after them or the fates of Mariano Rivera and Derrick Jeter or even where to get the best view of the Greenwich Village Halloween Parade.  But again no!  She gets three eighths.  I get three eighths.  That makes six eighths and leaves two eighths.  But yesterday, nestled into my mixture of Cheerios and Rice Krispies and walnuts and banana-blended–into-non-fat-milk was the other third of the delicious delicious apple.  Three eighths, thus making the total nine eighths which clearly cannot be.  No apple, no matter how…tasty…can add up to more than eight eighths.  What was going on here?

Again, another opportunity to shrug it all off and eat my waffles and apple with coffee and an assortment of  vitamins and supplements.  Not me!  Was there a compulsion to reveal my mental malfunctions to the outside world?  Apparently, ‘cuz  I sez to Bobbie–and here you can fill in the blanks.  She eats and listens, eats and listens, then just listens, then slowly turns in my direction and gives me that look.  You know, THAT look!  The one that says,

OK, I’m waiting patiently for you to exhaust  your stupidity quotient and redeem  yourself with something at least not stupid.

I thought of this cartoon.  It’s been hanging on our refrigerator for seven years now, hence the color.

And now for the reminder…

A while ago I sent out an invitation to all of you who make gift-potential things or offer nifty services to let me list them on the blog as sources of potential holiday giving.  So far I’ve gotten responses from the host of  Cajun/Zydeco events, an artist, a potter, a maker of craft kits for the less dexterous, shaker music boxes and needlepoint.  Now I know there are more of  you who do such stuff.  There are guitar teachers and drum teachers and bracelet, cuff link, jewelry box and note card makers who also teach drumming.  There are more painters and the owner of an incredible gift shop–known to me only thru the net–in a place called Oregon.  I want to hear from you!  More than that, I want to hear soon. A brief description, a link, a picture, some way for others to contact you.

Originally I was going to wait till after Thanksgiving to publish the list–my small effort to  keep Halloween, Veterans Day and Thanksgiving from being reduced to Pre-Christmas distractions.  Then it occurred to me that the crafts folk might need that time to actually make and ship stuff.  So the submission date is hereby moved up to November 12th, and  I’ll post whatever I’ve got by that time on the 13th.

Published in: on October 30, 2010 at 9:44 am  Comments (1)  

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. I wasn’t a complete skipper…kinda a beginning and end reading but the cartoon??!! Now is that really who we are?? were? could be? will be?


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