Reaching out!

Sometimes I know why I write what I write.  Sometimes not.  Sometimes the prime influences of the moment are evident.  Right now, for instance:

  • In a few hours Bobbie and I will leave for a two week tour in Egypt.
  • Right now my back still hurts from having done something or other to it last Sunday.
  • My digestive juices are working over some pancakes, coffee and a host of dietary supplements.
  • Right now a whole bunch of my clients have become former clients, leaving treatment for addictions against clinical advice and almost assuredly returning to the lives they left before coming to treatment.
  • Tightly linked to this is the memory of an article by Rabbi Simon Jacobson I read yesterday linking addiction with childhood abuse and it’s profound attack on self-esteem.
  • Tara Brach’s Radical Acceptance and A man of Zen: the recorded sayings of Layman P’ang are also in the mix.

All morning images have rushed through my mind in a carnival of confusion, color and lunacy (Was there really a plastic shopping bag tied around my ankle or did I dream it?  Imagine it?  Plastic bag?  What plastic bag?  Is there more coffee?) Still I know that these influences only influence and do not explain anything, the mind being what it is.  Is being what it is.

Why I write at all is another matter, particularly why blog.  All this started  back in November of 2006.  At first it just seemed like fun and, more than that, a chance to see how much courage lay beneath my surface.  Putting out my words (a mild way of saying thoughts) for others to see, braving whatever comments/criticisms might come back–that was the real challenge.  It was only last night, however, that I finally understood why I write at all.

My writing and, as it turns out, like my meditation and my work and my cycling and traveling and friendships and acquaintances and just about everything else I now fill my self with are all a reaching out, a seeking connection with others.  Like other human beings I am a social animal.  The blog, particularly with it’s opportunity for reader comments, seems an ideal pathway for the mutual exchange of concerns and perceptions.  I particularly want to know what you think and what you think about–not just feedback about what my postings introduce, but where your thoughts go from there.

The better I understand myself, the better I see me as part of an ever-expanding community, a community of not just people, but of all–even emptiness.  Maybe the word totality is better than community, but somehow it lacks the warmth and responsiveness of community.  Undoubtedly the word love comes in here, the love that holds all the rest: the laughter, the suffering, the celebration, the isolation, the ego and the soul.

I’m getting carried away here, but maybe not. Maybe that’s why the picture at the top: to undercut the whole thing with humor; a safeguard against taking myself too seriously and against you taking this too seriously.

What do you think?

Published in: on August 9, 2008 at 11:15 am  Comments (4)